Meet the Artist - A Journey into Portrait Art

If you are new to my site, welcome. If you are a long-time follower, welcome back.

You may be asking, why am I writing this? More importantly, why are you reading this? What compelling information will I impart that will keep you engaged?

That’s a toughie.

I am not typically one to talk about what drives me. Mainly because it is a difficult question to answer. Life would be the most simplistic. Life would also be the most complicated. I suppose I shall start where all stories start – at the beginning.

Every creative I’ve met has told the same tale when asked when we started creating. We all start at a young age. There are obvious answers for that, but you are not here to read about child-rearing and school assignments. What you really want to hear is when did you start taking it seriously.

I remember vividly sitting in a classroom talking with one of my classmates. Unfortunately, I cannot remember who it was. But I definitely remember the classroom and that it had to have been six or seventh grade due to my time at that particular school. That was a great time in my memory. That was when I began a two-fold journey – one focusing on portrait art, and the other writing.

When it came to art, I had no focus leading up to that day and that conversation. I merely drew everything I could. I learned more about shapes from drawing images from coloring books. That was where my penchant for outlining began. It wasn’t until college that I learned how to draw from the inside out, but that is another story.

This conversation, the one that led to drawing portraits, was the one I remember vividly. And it’s simple really. We were discussing what was the most difficult thing to draw. And, whomever it was I was talking to, said people.

Such a simple thing to have a goal in life based on one conversation in middle school.

But that’s not really the why is it? That is merely a prompt.

The why is also very simple. I wanted to do something that others could not.

That sounds very selfish, I am sure. Middle school is a time when we are developing our paths and trying to determine what our focus is. We are still full of hope and life hasn’t jaded us against the possibilities. I had many interests. I was terrible at all of them. I just needed to find something that I was good at. I was tired of being second best.

Hindsight being 20/20, this is still my motivator. I am still not good enough. There are still many that I pit myself against in an effort to improve my art, my writing, and even my day-to-day nine to five job. I refer to it as my competitive nature. But essentially it is a lot more than that. It is my desire to continually improve. To push past the person I was yesterday. This drive is 100% focused on my abilities. And it is how I have been able to achieve what I have achieved and continue to improve.

I am never complacent.

I will always have the desire to level up.

If you do not know me, you may be thinking how egotistical that all sounds.

If you do know me, then you know that I am my worst critic. And even my best painting is still full of flaws.

Another thing about me is despite all of what I just said, I would never hold anyone down just to achieve my goals. I will always be a cheerleader and drive others to continually improve. I want them to become better than I am. For how else am I to continually improve myself if not to pit my internal standards of improvement against someone I respect?

But I digress.

It was also in sixth grade that I really started focusing on writing. I was writing stories long before this, but I started writing my first book in sixth grade. I was a voracious reader so it made perfect sense to translate that into telling tales and sharing those stories with my friends and anyone who would listen. I was also really big into writing plays and dialogue was so much fun for me!

In high school, I still continued to write but due to a misunderstanding with my best friend, I began to hide my writing. Because of my enthusiasm over the poems and short stories, novels and plays I was writing, in addition to my art, she told me that I was continually, to quote her, “rubbing it in her face” that I was better than her.

That hit me hard. Because I always felt inferior to her. And my art and writing were something I was good at. The only thing I was good at. And she was my best friend.

Life has taught me that we cannot control how others feel about us nor their reaction to us. It gave me pause and still has an effect on me to this day. When I rejoice about an achievement or an award that I won, when someone offers me praise, I am quick to deflect it and diminish that praise. I don’t want to come across as a braggart.

My drive remains the same. How I communicate those goals and ambitions is flawed. There is always the fear that others will take that drive and misinterpret it. I am still learning to get past that.

I have not reached the end of my potential. There are still so many artists that are much better than I am. I may not reach the top in my lifetime, but I will continue to narrow the gap and reach every goal I set for myself. For what is the reason for living if not to continue to improve upon ourselves?